2005-02-02 - 1:53 a.m.
�Wow�finished and still not feeling it�
At 10:39AM this morning, or yesterday would be more appropriate, I put down my pen and the exam disappeared from in front of me. A teacher swooped by clutching the exams with her long sharp talon like fingers (�evil�) as another walked by with one of those smiles. You know, the one where you�re not sure if she�s smiling at you or if she�s going to rip your heart out of your body. Anyways she�s was carrying a page asking us all to sign it in order to prove that we were present during the exam. So if I had to guess�I�d have to say waiting to get into a pandemonium would be a lot like that. And although I signed myself as being there, the mental aspect was long gone. The moment that I dropped my pen my mind wandered in search for some sort of happiness�unfortunately the search party sent out for this happiness are presumed to have gotten lost and eaten each other in order to survive as long as possible�unfortunately not long enough, so we will just presume that they are all dead... It was different today then it used to be, back in the day once I finished my exam I�d run outside and yell at the top of my lungs. Yet today I felt nothing�pure and simple emptiness, but at least it was pure and simple (trying to look at the bright side of things�not really working but we can pretend).
Alright so I complain a little too much for my own good�but If I didn�t complain here it would be somewhere else, quite possibly in person�at least here you have the choice to read, no?
The one thing that I don�t get about exams (other then the questions) is how they seem to be able to suck the energy right out of you�even though the only physical work involved is the actual writing.
Ahhhh�I understand why I had such a hard time on the exam today�possibly because I learnt the entire course the previous night� Despite the fact that I �reviewed� so last minute I truly believe that I will achieve a very high mark on that exam�in comparison to the others� but only time will tell.
So next semester I get my first spare�if everything goes to plan. For if I managed to fail my discreet math course�well I�d have to take it again, and fuck I believe I�ll truly die before I take it again. Plus I�d hate to have to pick up a stupid course in place of my spare. Fuck I need a spare.
Anyways on to more important news�Tonight I had a guitar lesson to attend. So as usual, I get there half an hour before my turn and practice everything I was supposed to learn that week�seems to work most of the time. This week was different though, I brought the audition requirements for a school I�d like to attend. I showed him everything I needed to learn and he seems to have �espoire��as long as I practice, we will see. I really am going to try and improve in time for the auditions, but I can� make any promises. I�ll just have to try and work my ass off.
Well I�m off to relax, party and catch up with some well deserved rest�
Peace.
Ps: well three things�I�m tired�too tired/lazy to re-read this entry tonight, let alone correct it�and three�well�umm�hold up I�ll figure out something, oh yaa I have no Idea what Ps means.
